“It’s all about the people you meet, isn’t it?
“I don’t even know where to start. A lot of intense and contradictory emotions went through me the last few days. I am exhausted, I am emotionally empty.
I have lost a friend. Romantic love can hurt but we expect it to do so, we know it’s often ephemeral. Not friendship. Friendship is supposed to last. When we’re sad because of a breakup, we call friend to share our pain. But who do we call when we’re sad about losing a friend?
And then, it’s only the beginning, old girl. What do you want, it’s the price for the life you have chosen. In those moments, you have nobody. Alone with yourself. Because we’re not going to lie, a telephone doesn’t replace the arms of someone. Those arms, you are so far of them, physically and mentally. They are all going to pull away from you slowly, because that’s how life works, because people move on. It isn’t anybody’s fault, but even if we want to hang onto the contrary, that’s how life goes. There, of all your high school friends, with how many of them have you really stayed in contact? There are few of them, and those are so precious. So inevitably, when we lose a friend, it leaves a bitter taste, an awry taste.
And then, the circumstances. You met him a few days ago. Someone who understood you. ‘We’re nomads, that’s just who we are. It’s like being gay, you can’t change it, you can’t deny who you are.” It sounds so simple, so evident said like that. Therefore, in the space of a few days, I wasn’t really alone anymore, in this strange world where I struggle to find my place. Inevitably, goodbyes were thus a bit more difficult than usual. Me and my big theories, me the independent, the lone wolf, I find myself a bit silly and sad, this time.
Circumstances… Two days ago, I was telling him how happy I was, that I had never felt as good. It took a few words, back from that journey in the desert where the outside world didn’t exist anymore, to bring me back to reality, to the absurdity of our existences. Nevermind, I will get over it, I will come out of it stronger, I won’t let myself be deterred by so much spite. It’s their problem. I nonetheless wish her to be happy, really.
As for him we will see each other again. Life, circumstances are funny. It’s a blessing in disguise, one would say. Maybe to welcome the gifts of life, we need to clean out the negative. Come on, Sophie, in a few hours you will be in Budapest. New destination, new start.”
There’s no time to digest this misadventure which put a huge strain on my mood and of which I spare you the details. I thus fly out with a heavy heart from the airport of Ulaan-Bataar, a bit sad too to leave this beautiful country that has given so much to me.
After a first technical start in Bishkek (yes, I had to ask the people in the airport in which country I was: Kyrgystan), I am supposed to change planes in Istanbul. Bad luck (or not), my plane left Mongolia two hours late, I thus miss my connection… But Turkish Airlines are cool, they offer me a hotel room for the night, and not any old one! I get a room in a five star hotel with a spa and a swimming pool (too bad I left my swim suit in the bag I don’t have with me) and buffet included. After having slept for a month in tents and yurts, it’s a nice surprise! 😀
I finally arrive in Budapest the next day. Here I am in Europe again. It feels a bit weird, this brutal return. After having found my hostel and waited several hours in its living room (my bed wasn’t ready), I set out to roam the city, with the main goal of buying myself new sandals, because one of the pair I attached to the side of my backpack hasn’t survived the flight and has disappeared. I therefore only have my huge pair of really warm walking boots, when it is over 30 degrees outside! Unluckily, it’s Sunday, all the shops I am looking for are closed. (It will take me over a week to finally buy flipflops, and no, I have no reasonable explanation for this.) Nevermind, I decide to explore my surroundings instead. When I get to a beautiful building that turns out to be a train station, I notice hundreds and hundreds of people camping in the park next to it (see the picture below). At the time, I didn’t understand very well, having been a bit disconnected of everything for weeks. It’s only later that I will realise that all those people I took a picture of without really wanting to (only a fraction of everybody who was there) are actually mainly Syrian refugees waiting to be able to reach the rest of Europe… I will also learn that Hunhary has a very tough politic towards them, and that all of this situation has provoked a lot of problems, notably of stations, precisly, that have been closed to keep the refugees from going further.
The following day, I participate in a ‘Free Walking Tour”, I learn a few interesting things about the city and meet really nice people, it’s cool! It also allows me to spot a few places for my parents’ visit in a month.
With Abby and Sam, whom I met during the tour of the city, we decide to go try out the thermal baths that are so famous in Budapest. Beautiful!
My hostel hasn’t really given me a good first impression; while I was waiting for my room to be ready, I didn’t have any other choice but to assist to a Skype conversation with an Australian and his friends. He was working there, and was explaining how he would make girls drink every night so that he could sleep with them easily. Charming. I thus don’t really feel like spending a lot of time there, unlike my initial plan which was to stay about a month and work in this place. I thus don’t really know what to do; I am torn between going to see my friend Maxim in Bulgaria and help him build his meditation center, or first going to spend some time in a farm in Hungary. I will soon tell you how I ended up choosing the third option… 🙂