That’s it, my tickets are booked. This time, I can’t turn back anymore. I am on my way to a new journey! The fateful date is getting close: the 11 of June. I will start with a small excursion of a few days to see my brother in London, before flying to Vilnius, Lithuania. That will be the start of a discovery trip through the Baltic countries, then Russia and its legendary Trans-Siberian train, that will finally lead me to Mongolia. After that? It’s a mystery.
This time, I don’t have any return tickets. My trip can stretch out on an absolutely indefinite period of time, and same goes for the destinations. I don’t really know where I am going. But for now, I don’t care, because it is the way that I find interesting.
On my way to discover for myself!
My first two tickets. For the rest, I’ll improvise 🙂
Maybe I will take up distance studies. Maybe I will decide to continue in that school that I find interesting in the Netherlands. Maybe I will find a place where I feel good and that I won’t want to leave anymore. I will see.
In any event, in the end, it will be my choice. Just like the one I made, when I stopped my studies and booked those tickets. I have been receiving very mixed reactions. Some people are surprised, worried about the fact that I am leaving without possessing a diploma that would allow me to practice a “real” job. Others are enthusiastic, jealous, don’t take me seriously, or they tell me I am brave. I don’t know if I am that brave. Yes, that perspective terrifies me at least as much as it animates me. But the perspective to stay terrifies me just as much. Fundamentally, it is living that is terrifying, and managing to wake up every day, ready to face the uncertainties of life, as well as the appalling and abyssal lack of meaning of a routine that we take years to build even though it is destined to disappear. That is a form a courage. The one that I don’t have. The one that keeps me from flourishing in an environment that is too familiar.
My form of bravery, it might also be to decide to stop lying to myself. To follow what my guts are telling me, instead of what society tells me to do. To admit that there are serious problems in this world and that staying at home and watching TV won’t change anything, nor approving such sayings without considering to make a few sacrifices in my daily life. But I am only at the start. I still have a long way to walk before I can really be the person I want to be, in total harmony with my values and convictions.
“All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveller is unaware.” – Martin Buber”
Why this blog? Because this time, I want to be able to show another side of my travels than a few pictures liked on Facebook. I also love to write, I love to confront myself. This blog will thus first and foremost also be very personal; it is also interesting to be able to follow one’s own evolution. To read yourself again, a few months later, is a bit like looking at yourself in the mirror with even more hindsight that the one we need to put words on a situation, isn’t it?
Throughout this blog, I wish to show myself, to put words on my insatiable thirst for adventure and of change of scenery, as well as of personal development. And if, in the process, I can also inspire others, then I will be fulfilled!
Rise – Eddie Vedder
(And you, yes you, if you plan on following me, it is maybe because you are a bit worried that I’m off to get lost in the middle of nowhere and you’ll want to make sure from time to time that I am still in once piece. I thank you for this and promise you to do my best to regularly give you some news, but please don’t be mad if I disconnect longer sometimes! )
See you soon !
Sophie